My name is Mirjana; I’m 44 and live in Croatia. I was diagnosed with stage 4 FL just a year ago, in 2025. 

About Me 

I’m a mum of two, my children are 4 and 8. I have a job, I work in an international company which includes a fair amount of travel. When I’m not on the road my family and I are happiest out in nature.  

When I Heard the Words “Follicular Lymphoma”  

The words follicular lymphoma landed like a shock. My very first thought wasn’t about me. I have two children, and back then they were just three and seven, and I was terrified for them. And then came two more words that were so strange: watch and wait. No treatment yet. Just living three months at a time, from one scan to the next, with the fear quietly there in the background.  
  
What changed most wasn’t my body, it was learning to hold on to myself while everyone started to see me as a patient. The emotions were so overwhelming that I had to put them somewhere. And then something happened that I never expected: even though I’ve always been a “numbers person” who would never dream of writing a book, I started to write. I simply had to. That writing became a book — Botox and the Beast, about my good days and bad days, and about small acts of defiance (one needle for the lymphoma, one for the botox) that reminded me I was still me.  

What I Wish I’d Known at Diagnosis 

You are allowed to fall apart. And when you’re ready, you’re allowed to put yourself back together by your own blueprint, not by anyone else’s expectations. 

“Watch and wait” doesn’t mean “stop living.” Keep fighting, yes — but also let yourself enjoy the good, beautiful, ordinary moments. They matter just as much. And you are not alone in this.  

There is support from people all over the world, those I’ve never even met, who I found through follicular lymphoma groups and simply remind you that you’re not alone. 

My Hopes for the future of FL Research 

I hope that, if my FL returns one day, just to have a pill (no chemo) and to be the “old” me again – not sick!